When we were children we said “mine” a lot. We knew what we liked and what we wanted and were fairly brazen about claiming things for ourselves. And we often got exactly what we wanted, just by claiming it or demanding it!
As we grew and became less cute our parents taught us that it wasn’t nice to demand things. They were right of course, but in the process did they teach us that we couldn’t have things? That we didn’t deserve things? That we didn’t have the power to get what we wanted? Whether or not my parents meant to teach me this, this is what I seem to have internalized. I suspect that I’m not the only one.
I’ve devised a little game for myself called “Mine!” The rules are simple. I just decide on what I want or need–a good parking space, the perfect pair of shoes, a piece of information, and then I just go get it. So far it’s foolproof.
I also no longer defer to other people for no reason. Rather than letting everybody go ahead of me at a buffet and taking all the leftovers for instance, I step right up and take my pick. I no longer shop from the clearance rack. These are not bargains–they are usually ugly, poorly fitting clothes that nobody else wanted. Why should I settle for them?
The result of my little game has been astounding. My bank account still has plenty of money and I feel like the world is my oyster! Try it. It’s fun!